A Step Towards Hate and Love
by CallistaSky
Summary: Callista has left him, now it is up to a former smuggler to pull Luke Skywalker from his depression. *Mild slash* This means there IS slash content. Do NOT read if you don't like that sort of thing, simple as that.


Author's Note: This is my first piece of fanfiction that I am posting here (or anywhere for that matter). I do realize that not everything is in the exact timeline. Also, I made up a few things because it was more interesting that way. Things like the practice saber. Anyway, enjoy. =)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, only borrowing. This story has also developed into slash, so be warned. Nothing graphic though. One last thing, I forgot how to spell "ysalamari" and am too lazy to look it up so deal with it.  
  
  
Yavin IV-Jungles  
  
He was alone. The thought of spending the rest of his life alone made his stomach turn. Callista had been everything to him. Not a moment passed that she was not in his thoughts. Then she ditched him like all the rest had.  
As Luke stood atop the gigantic Massassi Temple where he and Callista had watched many sunsets together, a single thought continued to repeat in his mind. He was alone.  
The anguish built within him, an unbearable pressure which had to be released. And it was. His scream of rage rang loudly throughout the jungles, scaring various birds into flight. But Luke Skywalker did not care for them nor for his students which gathered at the base of the temple.  
Another scream ripped free from his lungs. The once clear sky suddenly became cloudy. A single bolt of blue electricity pierced the air.  
Yet still, the Jedi Master didn't care. He was alone in the universe.  
  
Coruscant-Solo~Organa Residence  
  
Han Solo was in a deep sleep in the living room of his apartment when the com went off. It took two beeps for the former smuggler to finally wake up.  
"There better be an Imperial invasion or...Kyp?" Han instantly woke at the sight of his friend.  
"Han, I'm sorry for calling so late. I keep forgetting morning to us means night to you." Kyp smiled uneasily, trying to hide the concern in his voice.  
"Yeah, it's all right. What's wrong, Kid? You're shaking more than a Corellian bazalian."  
"It's Master Skywalker."  
"Luke!"  
"He's all right...physically. But he's really taking his break up with Callista hard."  
Han chewed on his cheek.The kid was the kindest person in the galaxy. He'd open up to anyone and trust them without hesitation. Mara Jade was proof enough to this. But Callista had played with the young Jedi Master's emotions and then had thrown them aside. "I'll be there within two standard days."  
"Thank you, Han!" Even without the Force, Han could still see the relief rush out of Kyp Durron. "Maybe you should ask Leia to come too."  
Leia, a subject he was not entirely happy to discuss. Their marriage was just about nonexistent. Sure, the public saw them as a happy couple, but that was all an act. The truth was they were barely on speaking terms. Hence the reason he now slept on the couch.   
"Uhm...maybe some other time. The Kid...I mean Luke probably would be better off if one person talks to him first," Han lied smoothly.  
Kyp seemed to accept it and nodded happily. "Hurry, Han. Durron out."  
Han sighed heavily as the com went dead. No matter where he was, he always had to run off to save Luke from something. Whether it be insane clones, resurrected emperors, or random kidnappings, Han always rescued Luke. And he found himself looking forward to it at times. Anything to spend more time with the Kid.  
Yawning, Han Solo lay back down on the couch, hoping to catch another hours sleep before he left for Yavin.  
  
Yavin IV-Jedi Praxeum  
  
Inside the Grand Audience Chamber, the Jedi Trainees fidgeted nervously in their seats. They were unsure if they should report to classes or not since their Master's breakdown.  
A hushed silence fell over them as a single robed figure stepped out onto the stage. Slowly, the figure lowered his hood to reveal the tired but otherwise emotionless expression of Luke Skywalker.  
"All classes are canceled," his voice crackled as if he hadn't slept in days. "Go into the jungles, other temples, or even your rooms and meditate."  
Before anything more could be said, the Jedi Master had gone.  
  
Two days later-Millennium Falcon  
  
Gradually, the yellow-green gas giant grew larger as Han flew the Falcon closer. He could already see the tiny jungle moon hanging to the side of the massive planet.  
Han Solo hated jungles. There were too many things with teeth and claws for his tastes. But Luke was there and so the creeping crawling things didn't matter. Only he did. And if the Kid refused to talk, Han had other things planned for him.  
The Millennium Falcon cut through Yavin IV's atmosphere easily. It slowed it's decent and landed gently on the landing pad outside the Great Massassi Temple. This place always brought back memories for him, some good and most bad.  
The landing ramp lowered with a hiss of protest. Waiting outside, Han found an anxious group of Jedi trainees. He would never have guessed that a group of Jedi would be so happy to see him.  
"Han Solo," A small woman with silvery hair spoke up. Her name was Tionne, if Han remembered correctly. "Welcome to the Jedi Praxeum."  
"Yeah, thanks. Where's the Kid?"  
The students flicked their gazes to the ground then back up, some even shuffled their feet. "We don't know where he is."  
"You don't know where your Master is?" Han threw his hands into the air with disgust. "Can't you use your Force powers or something?"  
"He is more powerful than all of us, General Solo. Even if we combine out strength," the Calamarian woman spoke, her voice scratchy, "he can easily block our senses and go unnoticed."  
Great. So Luke was hiding. Well he'd have to show up sooner or later. Brushing past the trainees, the ex-smuggler made his way into the Praxeum.  
  
Later that night-Jungles of Yavin IV  
  
Luke Skywalker was tired, thirsty, and cold. But he still didn't care. The physical pain helped ease his mental anguish. But even he had to admit it was time to turn in. He had spent the entire day running. By his estimation, he had run over 200 miles with the help of the Force.  
Slowly, the Jedi Master crept inside the Jedi Temple. He was so weak, he could no longer sense a thing. But that was what he wanted. He didn't have to feel the other's worry for him or their pity. He could just pretend everything was all right.  
Opening his apartment door, he found his rooms as dark as he has left it. But something was wrong. A rustle of clothing made his Jedi reflexes jump in response as he grabbed the lightsaber from his belt. The dull green glow washed over his room, allowing him to see the form of someone sitting on his sofa. "Lights!" Luke yelled, stepping closer.  
The light sprang to life, letting Luke to get a glimpse of his unwelcomed guest. Han Solo sat there, grinning like a little boy who got away with some prank. "Nice to see you too, Kid," he said.  
Luke's eyes narrowed slightly, his hand still holding his lightsaber. "What are you doing here?"  
"Can't a friend even pay you a visit?"  
"Drop the act, Han," Luke whispered threateningly. "I'm not in the mood."  
Han responded by leaning back on the sofa and crossing his legs, paying careful attention in keeping his eyes away from the ignited saber. "The revered Jedi Master seems to be a bit testy today. Where is that Jedi calmness of yours?"  
"Gone, with Callista." The last word was said with hatred mixed with longing.  
Han frowned, his voice turning more serious. "Listen, Luke. I just want to help you."  
"And I don't want your help. I didn't even ask you here!" The brilliant blade of the saber retracted back into its hilt but the Jedi kept it ready in his hand. "Leave."  
With a sigh, Han stood up. "As you wish, Master Skywalker. But this is not over." Without another word, he retreated from the room, leaving a very depressed and angry Jedi behind.  
  
The next day...  
  
Luke stood in the center of his students. In his hand was something that resembled a lightsaber but was not entirely like the ancient Jedi weapon. This was the training lightsaber used on the newer trainees. The training saber's blade did little damage when it came in contact with skin. It only produced a mild jolt of electricity.  
With a flick of his thumb, Luke Skywalker turned on his training saber to show the curious students. The dim red-glow made his tired features seem wearier.  
"Each of you will receive one of these for the lesson today. Though the blade will not harm you, I expect that each of you respect it as though it were an actual lightsaber." Luke waited for his words to sink in before continuing. "I will take a volunteer now to demonstrate. Anyone feel brave enough?"  
"I will, Master Skywalker," Han said as he stepped into view.  
Luke scowled at his brother-in-law. But if Han wanted to play, he would play. The students gasped when their Master tossed the non-Jedi a lightsaber. Han flipped it on, adding the brilliant yellow-glow to the red.  
He raised the blade hesitantly. Sure, he wanted to fight if only to try and open his best friend up, but he knew that he was no match for a Jedi Master.  
"Say, buddy, wanna go easy on an old friend and forget about the Force?"  
Luke's face betrayed no emotion as he replied, "This is a Jedi exercise, Han. You knew that when you took up the saber."  
The next thing Han knew was he was pushed to the ground, his legs stinging from where they were struck.  
Slashing wildly at Luke, he tried to hit the Jedi's ankle. But Luke was too fast. In the blink of an eye, he somersaulted over the blade over Han, and landed with his feet on either side of his chest. Gradually, Luke lowered the training-saber's blade near Han's neck. "That was disappointing."  
"Who said I was done?" Han sent a swift kick into the Jedi Master's ass, sending him flying forward.  
the Jedi trainees gasped when they saw their Master hit the ground and Han roll ontop of him. With strong arms, Han pinned Luke down. Ice blue eyes glared at hazel as the two waged a silent battle. Finally, Han spoke. "If an over the hill space pirate can beat you, you should know you're losing your touch."  
"What are you talking about? I let you win," Luke snapped.  
"No! I may not be Jedi but even I can tell your anger is blinding your control. You're turning into Vader!"  
"Liar!" Luke screamed as a ferocious wave of the Force flung Han away. The Jedi Master lept to his feet, his mouth pulled into a cruel snarl. The trainees backed away, feeling the darkside energies wash over them.  
Han sat up slowly, rubbing a few ribs which were bruised from his rough landing. Even though he knew his best friend was on the verge of loosing control, he had to push further. He had to make Luke release his anger even if it destroyed him.  
"I saw a similar move from Vader," Han taunted, standing up. "Tell me, do you do Force lightening too?"  
Something snapped inside Luke. Dropping his training saber to the ground, he unhooked his real lightsaber and ignited it.  
"Master Skywalker," Kyp Durron, one of Luke's advanced trainees said as he stepped forward. "put down your lightsaber. You're being consumed by the Dark Side."  
Luke's glare fixed onto his student. "And who are you to judge me, Durron?"  
"I am a Jedi Knight." With that, Kyp ignited his own saber and took a fighting stance. So caught up in the evolving fight were they and the spectators that no one noticed as Han slipped inside his ship. Nor did they notice his return a few minutes later with two cages in his hands.  
Blinded by anger, Luke dove forward with his brilliant green blade, only to be knocked back as Kyp delivered a hard kick to his side. Kyp struck again, this time his fist into the Jedi Master's neck.  
Luke fell to one knee, gasping heavily with pain. The saber's hilt slipped from his fingers. As it fell, it suddenly flew into the waiting hand of Kyp's. "A Jedi knows no anger," he said calmly, clipping the now deactivated saber to his belt.  
Luke looked up with rage as he lunged at him again. This caught Kyp off guard as he stumbled backwards. As Luke raised his hand to pummel his student, a voice called out to stop him. "Luke!" Han yelled, stepping closer. "Get off of him, It's me you want to fight."  
Skywalker looked up, momentarily looking confused.  
"Well? Fight me!" Han screamed, raising his fist. Inwardly, he hoped that he had placed the ysalamari close enough to be effective yet far enough to go unseen. If Luke still had his powers, this could get really messy.  
"Get out of here!" Luke growled to his students. Most took flight into the Praxeum, only Tionne and Kyp stayed behind. Kyp so he could protect Han from his insane Master and Tionne because she secretly loved Luke.  
Luke narrowed his eyes at them but turned his attention towards Han. If they wanted to stay, so be it. His only wish right now was to kill his brother-in-law. A he lunged forward, he suddenly stumbled to the ground. The Force was pulled from him so fiercely that it felt like a punch to the face. Only one thing could deprive him of the Force.  
"You bastard, how dare you bring Ysalamari onto this planet?" his voice was strained from anger.  
"A fair fight," Han said, rather relieved he wasn't going to be torn to bits by the Force. "Just you and me. No lightsabers and no Force. What do you say, buddy? Or are you afraid I'll kick your ass?"  
Screaming in rage, the Jedi Master tackled his friend to the damp soil of the jungle. Han retaliated by punching Luke in the ribs, forcing him to roll off. Even without the Force, Luke was still graceful as he jumped to his feet and kicked at Han's jaw.  
The former smuggler managed to roll away before it could connect. He stood up and faced the crazed Jedi.  
Further away, Kyp and Tionne stood side by side watching the fight. Sorrow filled their hearts as they watched their Master turn closer to the darkside. No matter what, Kyp refused to watch Han die. But could he turn against hid Master to saver him?  
Luke ducked as Han threw a punch towards his face. With surprising strength, Luke slammed his fist into Han's side, causing the former smuggler to gasp in pain.  
Both were now bloodied and bruised and yet they refused to stop. Another punch hit Han square in the jaw.  
Luke grinned as he watched his opponent spit out some blood. But something stirred underneath his anger, something felt wrong.  
Han grabbed the Jedi by his neck, shaking him from his thoughts. In one swift motion, Han kicked Luke in the ankle, thus making him fall onto his back. Before he could respond, Han sat ontop of him, pinning his arms to his sides.  
"Looks like I've won." Han said, though he felt anything but victorious. The crazed look in Luke's eyes caused his heart to leap in his throat. Luke had always been so calm and caring, now there was nothing left of the old Luke. *Because he always kept his feelings locked up.* Han thought. *Because he always tried to save the universe by himself. Luke, I hope I did the right thing, but you needed to release these feelings.*  
Luke thrashed violently from under him, trying to knock Han off. Soon though, he gave up. "Going to get off of me now or are you just getting comfortable?"  
"Not until I know you're not going to go to the darkside."  
"What does it matter? Lightside or darkside, no one cares about me."  
The sudden revelation tore Han's heart. Was the Jedi so naive that he couldn't even sense his long time friend's feelings for him? "I care about you, Luke."  
"No!" Luke yelled. "I want what you and Leia have, the kind of love you share."  
Han sighed. This was it, if the Kid didn't feel the same way....well, that wasn't something he wanted to think about. "No you don't. It's false, Luke. Over the years we've grown apart." Han took a deep breath. "Because she couldn't compare to someone else, someone who I really love and always have."  
Anger vanished from the ice blue eyes to be replaced with confusion. "Who?"  
"You, Luke," Han said softly as he leaned forward to kiss the captured Jedi. His blood mixed with Luke's as their mouths met, yet it was the most erotic experience Han ever had. As Han pulled back to breath again, he looked fearfully into Luke's eyes to find confusion, disgust, but also hope shining back at him.  
From the edge of the clearing, a small gasp of surprise escaped Tionne's slender throat. Kyp too stood gaping at the pair in front of him. This was defiantly a shock. gradually, Kyp managed to pull his eyes away from the two and tug Tionne back into the Praxeum to give them their privacy.  
Luke watched them go then looked back into the deep hazel eyes hovering above him. "Great, now they think I'm gay as well as insane." Luke snapped.  
The ex-smuggler felt as if someone had jammed a vibro-blade into his chest. He had laid his emotions out before the Jedi, being more vulnerable than he had ever let himself be before, and he was rejected. "They'll think I am," he whispered, slowly getting off his brother-in-law. "You can say it was all me since it is the truth. But I wanted to let you know....to show you how I felt."  
Luke watched as he slipped out of sight into the jungle. He should feel angry, embarrassed, betrayed even, but somehow he only felt regret. Regret that he hadn't returned the kiss or stopped Han from leaving. *Stop it Luke,* he chastised himself. *You're straight.* But even that didn't sound convincing.  
Taking a deep breath, Luke jumped to his feet and walked slowly into the Praxeum. Once the Force was with him again, he sensed his other students anxiety at his approach. Sith, he had been drilling it into their minds about not turning to the darkside and yet he did so right before their eyes.  
Sending a silent message, Luke called them to the Grand Audience Chamber. Han would have to wait, there was something he had to attend to first.  
  
Millennium Falcon  
  
Han slammed his fist into the hard durasteel of his ship. How could he have been so stupid as to tell the Kid how he felt? He had came here to help Luke get over Callista and instead he had acted for his own sake and tried to take advantage of him.  
Slamming his fist again into the controls, Han grumbled with pain and anger. Blood still trickled down his cheek from the fight and yet he no longer cared. Nothing mattered now. He had nothing left so why did he care?  
Sighing, Han flopped down into the captains chair and waited for the hyperspace jump to be over.  
  
Yavin IV-Jedi Praxeum-Grand Audience Chamber  
  
The assembled trainees fidgeted uncomfortably in their seats as they watched their Master pace the platform as he waited for the arrival of the other Jedi. They no longer sensed the dark presence about him but all were wary.  
At last, Luke looked up to face them, his face expressionless. "My students," he began. "I have failed you and betrayed your trust. I have repeatedly warned you of the dark side and then I myself succumbed to its evil."  
A collective gasp swept over the students from the admission. Luke waited till all was quiet before continuing. "I could argue that it was the Skywalker temper that caused my transformation, but I will not. Only I am to blame and that is why I must leave the Praxeum. I am not fit to be a Jedi Master let alone train you."  
"No," Kyp called from the back of the audience as he stood. "You are the greatest Jedi Master that has ever lived. You said that a Jedi never stops learning, well, learn from this, Master Skywalker. Use this to strengthen yourself, not destroy you."  
A small smile of thanks appeared on Luke's lips. "You speak well, Jedi Durron. You truly are a Jedi Knight. That is why I am leaving the Praxeum to you."  
"And I refuse to accept," Kyp continued. "This Praxeum belongs to only one Master, you. I refuse to take what is not mine."  
"As do I," Streen said as he stood.  
"And I," Tionne said as she too rose from her seat. Soon, all the trainees were at they're feet.  
Something snapped in Luke. He had never felt so wanted before and yet here he was being refused to be let go by hundreds of Jedi Trainees. "Then it seems as if I have no choice," Luke grinned. "I will give it another try and learn from this experience."  
"There is no try," Kyp yelled out, smiling too.  
"Don't push it, Durron." Luke laughed lightly as did the rest of the Jedi.  
"I leave you in peace then," Luke continued. "May the Force be with you."  
"Wait!"  
Luke turned back and saw Kyp throw a silvery object towards him. Catching it in his hand with the Force, he saw it was his lightsaber. Saluting his student with the hilt, the Jedi Master turned and walked off the stage.  
  
Coruscant-Solo~Organa Residence  
  
The lights were out and the apartment was empty when Han returned home. He remembered that the kids were with Chewie on a visit to the wookies family. Anything to get them away from Han and Leia's constant fighting.  
Leia. The name no longer ment anything to him. But she was as stubborn as her brother.  
With a grunt of self pity, Han flung himself onto the couch and flipped on the holovid. An anchor woman appeared with dark blond hair and striking blue eyes....just like Luke's. *No* Han thought sadly, *Luke's are bluer.*  
The anchor woman's voice faded into oblivion as Han's musings died as he fell asleep.  
  
Coruscant-Landing platform C24  
  
The standard day that it took to reach Coruscant from Yavin left Luke alot of time to think. He had realized that with all the women he had been with, not one made him feel the love he should have. They were more like friends than lovers. That was why Callista left.  
Stretching out with the Force, Luke could sense his brother-in-law's despair even in his sleep. Well, that would soon change.  
Opening the canopy of his X-wing, Luke removed his helmet and jumped to the tarmac below. A rather large group of people had gathered there, some crewmen, some civilian. But all looked at the famed Jedi Master in awe.  
Luke grimaced at this. He hated when people gaped at him as if he were a god. Well, according to alot of them, he was. "Lock up, Artoo." He called to his droid.  
A whistle of compliance answered him as the X-wing canopy closed and the power shut down. Slowly, the droid raised itself from its socket and whistled again.  
Using the Force, Luke picked his astro-mech droid up and lowered him to the ground. This caused more people to gather to watch the famous pair.  
Without a further word, Luke walked through the crowd after they parted to let him pass. Artoo stayed close to his Master's heels, chirping warningly when a few of the spectators touched his domed head.  
A taxi waited at the edge of the platform and Luke gladly climbed in, Artoo trudging in behind.  
"Royal Palace, please," Luke said to the young Twi-leck female who piloted the cab. Purple eyes flicked toward him then back to the controls as the cab sped away.  
"Say," she began. "Aren't you Luke Skywalker?"  
Luke sighed. This was not going to be a pleasant ride.  
  
Coruscant-Solo~Organa Residence  
  
Luke crept into his sister's apartment without a sound. It had taken him longer to reach his destination because of that damned Twi-leck. She thought that by taking the wrong turns she could keep him a bit longer. *They expect me to save the galaxy,* Luke thought. *But not be able to navigate my way around a city block.*  
He had left Artoo inside his apartments which was a floor lower than his sister's.   
The apartment was dark, save for the faint glow of the holo-vid. On the couch laid Han, sound asleep. Searching one more time for his sister, Luke found her to be in a meeting which was sure to take a hours.  
Using the Force to lighten his steps, Luke made his way around the couch and kneeled over his sleeping friend. He placed a gentle kiss on the former smugglers lips, instantly waking him.  
"What the...Luke?" Han looked up to see the cause of his fantasies staring down at him.  
"Morning, Han," Luke said huskily.  
"Morning? It's still dark out! What are you doing here?"  
Han was playing hard to get now?! By the Force this man was stubborn. "What do you think?" Again, Luke kissed him.  
Han found himself pulling Luke closer and kissing him harder. When they pulled away for air, both men looked at each other with surprise. It felt so right and yet it hadn't happened sooner. Holding up the blanket, Han said, "Get in here, Kid."  
And Luke happily obliged.  
  
Coruscant-Council Chambers  
  
Leia slumped further back into the self-conforming chair. The meeting had been going on for hours. Not that she wanted to rush home or anything but even Han was more tolerable than the endless babbling of the senate.  
A sudden presence filled her mind. A blinding light which outshone her dim glow. It was Luke! He was on Coruscant and looking for her.  
Just as she was about to call out to him, he disappeared again. Normally se would have been alarmed, but a sense of peace and excitement emanated from him.  
Leaning back in her chair once again, Leia smiled and watched the meeting continue.  
  
Solo~Organa Residence-A few hours later  
  
Clothes, boots, and even a blaster and a saber lay strewn across the room. On the floor, a very naked Han held a very naked Luke in his arms as he slept. Han watched him in amazement. The almighty Jedi Master looked like the vulnerable farmboy he had picked up on Tatooine all those years ago. But what shocked him the most was the utter peace on Luke's sleeping features. He had never seen him like this before. And he was the reason the Jedi was now at peace.  
"You are right, I've never felt this way before." Luke whispered, his eyes still closed.   
Han grinned and kissed his forehead lightly. "Thought I told you to stay out of my mind?"  
"Get used to it, Han. We're bonded through thr Force even if you can not control its energies." Blue eyes opened to look into hazel ones. "Is that all right with you? I know how you hate the Jedi thing."  
"Wrong. You are part of the Jedi thing so I can't hate it. Besides, I think I can put up with the hocus pocus if it means we can be closer."  
Luke smiled against Han's bare chest. "I wonder how the trainees will take to this."  
"They'll be happy that you are happy. Though Tionne will take it rather badly."  
"Tionne?"  
Han laughed. The Kid was clueless when it came to love. "Nevermind. You think they can handle an old smuggler hanging around the temple?"  
Luke propped himself up with his elbow to look at his lover better. "You mean you will stay on Yavin IV?"  
"Sure, if you'll have me. I need a change of scenery."  
"I'd love it, but what of Leia?"  
Han sighed. True, both agreed that they were not in love, but Leia and he were married. How would she react when she found her husband had left her for her brother?  
"We'll tell her tonight," Luke said. "Speaking of which, we should get ready. Telling and showing are two very different things." Han laughed lightly and began collecting his discarded clothes.  
  
3 days later- Yavin IV- Jedi Praxeum  
  
Luke bowed lightly to his trainees before stepping off of the platform and into Han's waiting arms. They had been together on Yavin for two glorious days and their bond was strengthening. Han even refused to miss a single lecture Luke made, claiming he likes to watch him in "Jedi mode" just as long as it wasn't permanent.  
The students took the news rather well. Except for, of course, Tionne who had run off somewhere. Leia too was actually happy that they were together. She had taken the news well.  
What the rest of the galaxy though, had yet to be seen. But whatever happened, Han and Luke would remain together forever.  
  



End file.
